What I Should Have Said October 11th 2024

    Fully aware that there is no such thing as perfect, our autumn in this corner of my home and native land has been as close weather wise as one could hope for.  Weather out here is something one never takes for granted.  And as much as has gone on in our lives this fall, we have managed to steal some moments and just enjoy what has been given to us.  Now when I say "what has gone on" it isn't the typical exaggeration one would expect from the lips of a story teller.  And yet, I suspect it is the same s%#t in a different pile for most families.  

    I had some very stellar moments with some people who have been a great part of my life at different times, in different places, in different ways.  I had some great opportunities to say things to individuals that I haven't seen, or never met for a life time.  I had the chance to tell these people what I thought, or how they mattered.   And I tried.   

    So often in our lives we are granted such opportunities, and when those meetings pass we come up with a list of things we should have said.  That happened to me several times this autumn.   And that's why I am here....... so here goes.

   If you have been here before, ( And I thank you for that) you will remember that I graduated from R.C.M.P.  training fifty years ago.  In the spring of this year, close to the date we started training I drove out west to have lunch with six of my troop mates.  On September 30th, the fiftieth anniversary of our graduation I had lunch in Moncton, New Brunswick with five or my troop mates.  Three of those dudes I hadn't seen since October 1st. 1974.  It was wonderful.   And this time I learned some things.

    I learned that I wasn't the only member of troop four seventy four that felt insecure, and out of my league.  That training was hard.  Period.  And through this, one of those men, a decent athlete, an academic, a fellow ginger, paid me a compliment.  On more than one occasion he made a point of calling me "The Glue".  Well I know what that means.  And it is very flattering.  The next day,  I had some time in the vehicle and what I should have said to this group of men came to mind.    I should have said thank you.  I should have said that it was my first experience with a group of men from coast to coast and that half year made me a very proud Canadian.  It made me aware that people from every region of this enormous country have their own set of problems but a similar resolve.  That in a situation where were often as not pitted against each other, we banded together.  That the worst parts of training could have been worse if not for those guys.    Coulda shoulda woulda.

    

    I know I am a westerner who lives in a gorgeous community in a beautiful province.  And some of my friends and family may find it strange that my happy place is St. Andrews, New Brunswick.  It is a two hundred year old fishing village on a point that sticks out into the Bay of Fundy.  It is very popular now among the retirement set out of Toronto and Southern Ontario, but it has existed as a town of the very wealthy and lower middle class working person for two centuries.   It has always been a tourist draw.  These days it is becoming an internationally recognized artist colony.   My wife's family comes from my happy place so I have been going there as often as a cop's salary and pension could afford for almost half a century.    

    On this occasion, Sean McCann of Great Big Sea fame was an artist in residence at Kingsbury Gardens. ( A great story on it's own, but not today)  There is an open air amphitheatre in St. Andrews and on a beautiful September Saturday afternoon, my in laws treated us to a Sean McCann concert.  If you don't know Sean's story, well it is also one worth examining.   On this afternoon, Sean shared some of his story of Great Big Sea years.  He talked about the band opening for Sting, and when walking off the stage how he got a shoulder punch from Sting who said  "Good job on General Taylor".  If you don't know General Taylor,  you may not know me as well as you think.  It remains Sean's signature song  from the GBS years.   He also talked about his 15 years of sobriety and the healing  this time has required.  He was an open book with the crowd that day.  As honest a day as one could ever ask for.  

   So at the end of the concert Sean sang General Taylor.  He walked among the crowd with his wireless mic and when he got to me put the mic to my mouth.  I belted out the backup line with as fine a voice I could muster.  I wrote on facebook that night that from that day forward it would be referred to as the time my buddy Sean McCann and I sang a duet.   And cause St. Andrews is my happy place, and cause it is a tiny town, it would not be the last time we met.  

   Our last morning in town I was at the farmers market and I met Sean McCann.  I asked for a picture and he was most compliant.  I told him about a concert of Alan Doyles we attended some years before and how Doyle told a story about them writing a song together while on a bus.  I told him I got to be one of the first people to hear a song he wrote that week for my happy place and how he captured how it feels to be there.  I told him he would be a noted song writer in Canada for a hundred years.  And then came that light that comes on later. 

   I should have told him that as impressive that it is that his band opened for Sting, I have two Sting albums and seven Great Big Sea albums.  That I met Alan Doyle, and I found Sean to be a much more approachable, friendlier person.  That as much as I love his music, more impressive is what he has done with his life.  That he has been as brave and strong and has done so much to help those who suffered what he has suffered.  That as a Canadian and as a man I was proud of what he has overcome and what he has done for others.  

 Home from our happy place, we hit the ground running.  My sister who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease was in an independent living home.  She was added to an emergency placement list for an Alzheimer's care home, and just before we returned to Alberta from New Brunswick we received a call advising there was a placement for her in a town about an hour from where she lives.  Home by midnight, at a meeting  at 10:00 the next morning in Rocky Mountain House to do the paper work.  Back to Red Deer to advise my sister that her life was about to be turned upside down.   Packing and preparing,  trips to the dump, renting a truck, moving furniture, changing addresses, reassuring my sister.  Almost all of which was done not by her brother,  but by her sister in law.  

  The move got made on Monday.  Got her settled on Tuesday.  Went to visit her on Thursday.   When my wife retired, she had been a nurse for over thirty five years.  She was care director of an Alzheimer's facility, and worked the placement office during her career.  Because of her professional experience I have been inclined to leave the placement and care of my sister with her.  But it isn't the professional person who has done more for my sister.  It is the sister in law.  The personal kindness.  The love.  The example to our children.   

   All things I should have said........ And this time I was smart enough to say it today.  Just before I wrote to all of you.